Lesson Learned: I love you, I do.

Yo te quiero. Ti amo. Wo ie ni. Je t'aime. Kimi o ai shiteru. How to say it is easy. When to say it is the hard part.

Being the first to say "I love you" seems to put your signif other in the hot seat. Is he only saying it back because he feels pressured and sorry for you? Saying it in response to his saying it for the first time will make him wonder if you only said it because he did. Saying it for the first time in the middle of a fight, seems to imply begging. Saying it for the first time after sex, seems to imply clinginess.

Is saying it on your 3 month anniversary proper protocol? Do you say it for the first time in a Hallmark e-card? How about over the phone.

In all this murkiness, a few things are clear:

1) Never say it on a first date.
2) The first time you feel like you want to say it, don't. Make sure you've thought long and hard.
3) Those words should be words of pure expression, they should have no ulterior motive attached. If you are saying it to get him to stay, to cuddle, or to buy you a Berkin bag, don't.

My advice is to wait to say those words until they bubble up in your heart and spew out of your mouth uncontrollably. If your beau says it back, great. If he doesn't. Don't take it personal. In fact, appreciate his honesty. Often times he really does love you, he just may be scared to say it. (Watch his actions, not just his words) If you are "put on the spot" with an an unexpected I love you, then you owe it to your mate to be honest. If you feel it too, then say it. If your not so sure then explain it.

Love is expressed in many ways. Its in the way he gets your oil changed and washes your car, the way she cooks your dinner, the way he holds you. Remember, just because he isn't saying I love you the way you want him to, doesn't mean he's not saying it with all he has.