Lesson Learned: Fantasy Football Will Never Be Real

Saturday my Fantasy Football league held its draft. It got me thinking. Dictionary.com defines "Fantasy" as one's imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained; wondrous or strange fancies; unreal mental images; hallucinations; and a conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need. Wouldn’t it be amazing if in love and relationships we could create The Fantasy Man?!? For those who may not be familiar with Fantasy Football, in short, you select the best NFL players and create your own team. For instance, you may have Peyton Manning as your quarter back. LaDanian Tomlinson as your running back. And in my case, Chad Johnson as your Wide Receiver. Although these guys are not on the same team in real life (and in fact never could be since no team could afford to pay them all top dollar), they are all a part of your Fantasy team.

Imagine scooping up the best guys that the world has to offer to create Mr. Fantasy Man. My starting line up would look something like this:

Reggie Bush at body. Terrance Howard at eyes. LL Cool J at lips. Bill Gates at bank. He'd have the voice of Luther Vandross, the determination of MLK, and the soul of Ghandi. His speech would sound like Barack, his thug would be like Tupacs, and his smile would be like Brad Pitt's. He'd be tall like LaBron, have a flow like Common, and a swag like Jay Z. He'd have the fashion sense of Versace, taste in shoes like Manolo, and could pick out a ring like Kobe. His cars would rival Diddy's, his home would look like Steven Spielberg's and he'd be a mogul like Russel.

I could go on and on. But what's the point? Mr. Man (Fantasy Man that is) will never exist. He'd be entirely too perfect for words. Besides, with a man like that there'd be no need for daydreams, celebrity crushes, relationship venting, and blogs like this. We'd be too busy jet setting and being in love. But, who needs Mr. Man when we have men who leave the toilet seat up, do not understand what it means to communicate, fart in public places, and need to go to the gym just as much as we do?

Life would be so mundane without them . . . well, since like fantasy football, my fantasy man will never be real....that's what I'll tell myself to cope :/