OFF TO SEE LOVE AT ITS FINEST THIS WEEKEND AT A WEDDING...POSTS WILL RESUME ON MONDAY (UNLESS THERE'S SOME GOOD DIRT TO SHARE BEFORE THEN)

Lesson Learned: Why Did I Get Married?

If you haven't seen Why Did I Get Married? Stop reading and go see it. If you have seen it, read on...

This movie easily sparks discussion about some of the problems we face in our African American marriages, how we try to fix them, and how we really should be fixing them. Any one who has seen the movie knows that the best scene is the "put it all out on the table" dinner scene. I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I got mad, and I cried some more.

What we can learn from these couples: (w/o giving too much of the story lines away in case those who havent seen it didnt heed my warning above)

Tyler Perry and His Workaholic Lawyer Wife: Its so easy for black women to fall into this trap. We strive so hard to overcome boundaries and to shatter glass ceilings that we devote all of ourselves to our careers. This woman actually had a "good" man, but she couldn't see that because she was blinded by making partner and meeting her billable hour requirements. What she failed to realize was that her daughter and her husband needed her far more than that law firm. If she died tomorrow, her office would stay empty for a few weeks , but the firm would move on w/o much heartbreak. Her husband and daughter however, would have an empty place in their hearts and their homes forever. Lesson learned: Keep your career in balance. Never let it outweigh family and friends. The greatest blessing we have our these relationships. Dont sacrifice yours for corporate America---I promise, Corporate America will make no sacrifices for you.

Janet Jackson and Malik Yoba: As a counselor herself, Janet and her movie hubby seemed to have things pretty much together. They knew how to communicate, and thats key. Where they fell short was being honest and forgiving. They shared their deepest hurts w/ friends rather than each other and smiled at and ignored pain to keep from feeling it. Lesson learned: Pain thats kept in will eat you alive. Own up to your mistakes and make a plan to move past them. When hurt by a partner, discuss it. Not speaking about the elephant in the room is not fair to you, your spouse, or the elephant.

The Drunk and her STD infected hubby: This couple looks like lots of couples in Atlanta. The wife makes more money than the husband so she feels that she wears the pants. The husband tries to get ahead but feels that he is being knocked down by his own wife. They lie to each other, disrespect each other, and cheat on each other....a recipe for divorce and disease. Lesson Learned: Women, no matter how many bills you pay in your household, if you want your man to stand up and be a man, you have to treat him like one. if you cant handle making more than him then dont be with him--but degrading and putting him down will only keep you both behind. Men--have a plan. Just because she makes more than you now, doesnt mean it always has to be that way. Exercise your manliness in other ways, for instance, leading family prayer, or starting a business. Dont let infidelity be your way of lashing out at your partner. Communicate, dont fornicate. And lastly, KEEP YO BABY MAMAS IN CHECK.

Jill Scott and Her AssHole Husband: This story continued to bring me to tears throughout the film. Jill played a role of inferiority and dependence. She depended on her husband for everything from money to her own self worth and happiness. Its easy to let a man's view of you shape how you see yourself. Lesson learned: if you dont love you, no one else will. if youre not happy w/ the way you look, then change what you can and accept what you cannot. if your man is not happy w/ the way you look...drop him.

Featured Articles

Want to know how you and your mate could grow closer after infidelity?


Read on:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21433484/?GT1=10450

Off My Chest: Bridezillas Beware

With the popularity of wedding websites and shows, the phenomenon of becoming a Bridezilla is taking over. I actually think many women anxiously await the opportunity to throw hissy fits, scream, fuss, and miss important dates in others lives while all the while blaming it on being a Bridezilla. Call me a hater if you want, but honey, that is not a good look. First and foremost, don't get it twisted. It was cute the first time you said, "I'm getting married and youre not." But the next 4 times made you sound like a 5 year old. Not everyone rushes into marriage after 3 months...sorry if me and mine are laying a rock solid foundation first. Secondly, don't get a big head. The rock, or shall I say pebble, on your finger, does not make you any hotter, cuter, or smarter than before you had it. Diamond possession does not make you an expert on all things wedding nor all things class. Poll a dozen people and I promise you we will all agree that going to the club after tying the knot is not really all that classy. Finally, you should be prohibited from exhibiting bridezilla behaviors if your wedding costs less than $20,000. Bridezilla tactics should be reserved for the platinum wedding type. By platinum, I really mean over $100,000 (hey, i'll give semi-platinum types a break too $20-$100K) When you've prepared a 5 course meal for your guests, Tiffany gifts for your bridal party, and are wearing a jewel encrusted Vera Wang gown, I"ll be a little more understanding of your tirades. However, when I've spent more on your wedding than you have, I wont be so understanding. People work 50 hour weeks and have mortgages, car notes, and lives that do not revolve around your wedding. I'll be there when I get there, I'll help you when I can, and I'll leave when I damn well feel like it. Your bitching, moaning, screaming, and complaining is for the birds. Keep it up and I know one bridezilla who's gonna be broke and begging for friends after this day is over.

Notable and Quotable

"Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life."
-Lord Byron

Featured Articles: Ugly Ducklings

So, according to a study discussed in the AJC today, ATLiens are not an attractive bunch of people...

Are we really that ugly?
By AJC Tuesday, October 23, 2007, 08:05 AM
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The website Travelandleisure.com and CNN Headline News have released the results of an online poll of travelers and residents on what they like (and don’t like) about 25 large cities in the United States, and Atlanta is not going to be happy with the results.
There are many different categories, and we do better in some than in others, but what jumped out was that we rank 23rd out of 25 cities for people-watching, and 19th out of 25 for attractiveness of the natives.

I will point out that the note above discusses attractiveness of natives...hmmm...glad I'm a transplant:)

ATL Celebrilove: Straight Gossip

Mediatakeout is reporting that Fantasia and Young Dro are dating these days...hmmm...me no think so. I"ve seen Dro's type, and its not Fantasia...plus I've met his girlfriend and she's a cutie. No Haps Tasia.