Off My Chest: Keyshia Cole Edition

Keyshia Cole's comment to Essence magazine (see below) has really rubbed me the wrong way. She uses her desire to accomplish her goals as a reason not to get married. I think its a cop out. Yes, with marriage does come a form of submission to your husband if he is a man of God. But that submission is not blind and does not come with you being barefoot and pregnant for the rest of your life. If you have dreams and goals, marriage does not have to halt them. If anything, it could fuel them. Instead of being alone in this world fighting corporate america, line of credit loaners and others who may be against you, you now have a friend, a confidant, a business partner. I look at couples like the Mitchells (spotlighted in the older post section below) and see that sometimes two heads are better than one. Yes, we are totally competent on our own, but the skills of a mate may propel us to a higher level. Marriages these days aren't about just being a good housewife. If that's what you want, then you have my full support to be the best damn housewife you can be. Its a hard job and I commend you. But if you want to own a business, write a book, start a practice...let your spouse be your advisor, your business partner, your shoulder to lean on . Stop putting off marriage because you need to "get your business off the ground first" or need to "get where you need to be in your career." Thats something that only us black folks do. We feel the need to have all of our ducks in a row and then we look to marry. By then, your stubborn, stuck in your ways and will likely have a hard time fitting your mate into your already cookie cut life. Take a hint from some of my white friends. When you find your true love, marry. Build your lives, careers, and goals together. You may struggle for a bit, but it makes the pot at the end of the rainbow that much brighter. If you are considering marrying someone that doesn't support your dreams, that doesnt believe in your vision, and wants you to take the back burner in areas where you naturally shine then dont say you'll wait to marry him when your goals are accomplished, but never marry him because he is not the one. There is nothing hotter than a couple that sleeps together, prays together and makes money together. That's what being three sixty is all about.

So Keyshia, if Jeezy didnt support your dreams, then cool...drop him. But don't make it seem like you'd have to trade the mic for a maternity gown just because you tied the knot. It sends a bad message to young girls who want it all....careers and more traditional marriage roles. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.