Notable and Quotable

"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

-Agatha Christie

Peachy Date Ideas

Wondering how you and your beau should ring in the New Year (or the weeks very soon thereafter)? Check out http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk/ and get your travel on. Its time to do it big in '08. South Beach, wack. Los Angeles, done that. Vegas, been there. Try Prague, London, and Spain on for size.

Upgrade yourself, you won't regret it. Overseas travel is uber romantic and gives you a sense of culture thats unmatched in the US. http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk/ has great deals on last minute travel, group travel, and general travel information.

Theres actually a special for travel in the next 21 days...what are you waiting for...get some overseas love in your life. http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk/

ATL Celebrilove: Nivea and The Dream Divorce

First of all, who knew they were married. Her statement, while needing some grammatical correction, is nice and doesn't deliver any low blows. I'm sure their divorce was another filled with sex, lies, and groupie love.

In a statement to the press, Nivea responded to the divorce from her husband,

I am also sorry to have to report the news of our separation. It is however a mutual decision for the both of us. We see this as an attempt to try and maintain the friendship we've developed since our marriage and also to allow growth for myself as well as him. Unfortunately I was not prepared for partnership or even real life for that matter. I am completely and truly grateful and thankful to God for sending him into my life and to him for everything that he has done for me and my family and that includes monetarily as well as spiritually and mentally, especially for myself, which was never his responsibility in the first place. None of you are aware of the real me and I plan to make that as clear as possible on this next album. I come from a sad and scary past that I am still in the process of overcoming and growing past, thanks to the man I love and always will. This is truly the only person I've ever known or heard of that is incredibly loving, passionate, wise, psychic, wise, creative, genius, and many more things that I could never put into words. I don't feel it is fair for neither of us, especially him, to continue this never-ending battle of the minds that he and i have continued for long enough. I want nothing more than for him and I to be happy. His happiness is all i want, for I could never repay him for what he has endured by being my friend, partner, and husband.

ATL Celebrilove: Monicko

So, it looks like there may be trouble in paradise for ATL's very own Monicko (Monica and Rocko). While she's at home preggers w/ their second child, he's out promoting his latest single and shooting videos. Thats a good thing, right, he's working. Where the problem lies, it what he's doing with all his free time. Click on the link below to read what a bunch of ATL women have to say about how he doesnt really love Monica and how he's creeping w/ a PYT. If its true, then she's fallen into the trap--another beautiful and succesful Atlanta woman, settling for a piece of trash.

And who came up with the name Rocko da don...doesn't there already exist another da don---I think I like Polow better.

http://www.themostaccess.com/2007/11/26/rocko-da-don-to-shoot-new-video-in-atl/

Notable and Quotable

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

-Woody Allen

Featured Articles: Interesting Reads

Would you take back a cheating mate? http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8988&TrackingID=516165&BannerID=541888&menuid=6&GT1=10678

Is he too close to his ex? http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8977&TrackingID=516165&BannerID=541888&menuid=6&GT1=10678

Is your mate cheating...20 signs he/she is. http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8934&TrackingID=516165&BannerID=541888&menuid=6&GT1=10678

ATL Celebrilove: Urshmeka Speaks

The meka of Urshmeka spoke out in a recent article in Essence saying that if she was mixed, light skinned, or other, people would like her better for Usher. She goes on to say that so what she's not a size 2 or 25 years old...they are in love. Chic has a point. I dont know her personally, so I cant speak on whether or not I like her, their situation just seems a little weird to me. She's old and has dozens of kids, and he's gayish...let me stop before Ursh shuts down this site (you know he's done it before to his own fansite) And based on Usher's previous taste, she doesnt fit the "Chile" mold. But what Meka doesnt realize is that not many of us are losing any sleep over whether she and Usher belong togehter, most of us couldnt really give a hot damn and actually do care more about those on the streets in ATL and Darfur. We only speak up when she thrusts herself into the limelight as she often does. So calm down Meka...no one really cares.

Here's the quote:

“We (black women) don’t like ourselves. If I were Hispanic, Usher would have the sexiest wife alive. If I were mixed, he’d have the sexiest wife alive. “But he has a black girl, and it’s like, ‘She’s horrible and she’s ugly!’ “OK, maybe I don’t fit the cookie-cutter standard - 25 and a size two - but this is who he loves.” “There are women getting raped in Darfur, young girls being turned out every single day right here in Atlanta. We have bigger issues to worry about than two people in love with each other.”

Notable and Quotable

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience."

-Samuel Johnson

True Story: Couple Gives Back

Its nice to see a couple take time away from themselves to make a difference in someone else's life...how about you and yours try it this season!

http://www.ajc.com/living/content/living/stories/2007/12/05/goodworks_1206.html

True Story: Jackpot

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2007/12/05/lottery_1206_web.html

Atlanta "family" man wins big...someone's having a very merry Christmas!

Notable and Quotable

"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
-Woody Allen

Lesson Learned: I'm not for everyone.

There's a partner at my law firm who is smart, rich, attractive, pushing 40 and still single. Most would consider her a great catch, but for some reason, she's not married, or even dating for that matter. I initially chalked it up to her being too focused on her career to give married life a try and being too set in her ways to open up and date different types of men. However, in a conversation we had yesterday, she told me that she's single and happy. She's single because, as she put it, "I'm not for everyone. And I'm ok with that." Her statement caught me by surprise, but the more I think about it, the more I like it.

We have to realize that some of us are too smart, too strong, too blessed, too anointed, and too favored to be with certain people. It doesn't make us any better than the men we try to date, just different. God made us unique for a reason and we have to realize and embrace the fact that we aren't for just any ol' guy. We are for the equally yoked, strong, supportive, loving, mature brothers of the world. So if you are alone or in an unhappy and unfulfilled relationship, say it proud, "I'm not for everyone" and wait patiently until God is finished making the man for you.

Notable and Quotable

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?"
-Freud

Notable and Quotable

"There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart."
-Melanie Griffith

ATL Celebrilove: Urshmeka Delivers

The blogosphere is reporting that Urshmeka delivered a baby boy last night here in Atlanta. Hopefully all is well w/ the "Happy" family.

ATL Celebrilove: Well, Kinda

So, Dottie is preggers. We aren't sure whether the father is Jackson from Pittsburgh or Ali from Jacksonville. Either way, she'll be preggers for the next 2 years....

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/stories/2007/11/19/elephant_1120.html

Love Dont Live Here Anymore: More Weeks/Bynum Drama

Lets get this divorce over with already...

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2007/11/26/bynum_1127.html

ATL Celebrilove: Dirty Awards Edition

Not many couple sightings last night on the red carpet at the Dirty Awards....Aside from Diamond and Lil Scrappy walking the carpet as an item, the most interesting news was that Diamond is no longer a member of Crime Mob. I know, who cares?!?

(Pic courtesy of SandraRose.com)

Notable and Quotable

"Its better to trust and later find out that he was not trustworthy, than to not trust, but later found out that he was."-Unknown

Off My Chest

From a friend...

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I can already smell the turkey, yams, mac and cheese, pies, and sweet tea....with all that food, you'd think I'd be so full. But no, I'm empty. I'm starving and slowly wasting away. I've been relying on your words and your follow through to sustain me. I've been eating off your love and devotion. But all that is so empty. I'm starving because I've eaten all the lies you've fed me. You've lied about it all--the money, the cars, the credentials, the commitment. But you know what, dont blame yourself---I should have broken up with you a long time ago.

Upcoming Events For You and Yours

Make it a post-Thanksgiving Shopping Date...Head on Up to the North Georgia Premium Outlets at Midnight on Thanksgiving for some great deals and some holiday cheer...besides, you'll need to burn some calories by then anyway!

http://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlets/sales.asp?id=16

Then go see the premier of the Holiday movie, "This Christmas" With an up and coming cast its sure to entertain and get you in the holiday spirit.

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/thischristmas/

Featured Articles: A Little Too Much Love In this Family

It would suck to find out that your uncle is your father...for some reason, when I saw "Atlanta Megachurch" I hoped it wasn't Eddie Long they were talking about!

http://www.ajc.com/dekalb/content/metro/dekalb/stories/2007/11/20/church_1120.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

ATL Celebrilove: Shoulder Leanin' When I See You

`Well I'll be! The blogosphere is confirming that Yung Dro and Fantasia are indeed a couple and that she may even be pregnant. I'll admit that they are an interesting pair together--I think I kinda like it. Both seem about as real as you can get. Looks like Dro dropped his petite little light skinned girlfriend...or maybe he still keeps her on the side...who knows...

It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

Featured Articles: "I Dont Do Teenagers"

This morning on the Frank and Wanda morning show, Frank told of a caller--a single mom who was raising her son alone. When she got to her wits end because of his behavior she called his father and said that she thought the son should live with him. The father said he'd talk it over with his new wife. Well, the new wife said, sorry boo, i dont do teenagers!

Things brings up a whole host of issues:

1) Should you get into a relationship with a man that has preexisting children if you cannot handle the thought of one day raising them.
2) Can you truly love a man if you cant accept his children?
3) That father was a father to that son before he was a husband to the new wife, should he have asked her if the kid could come and stay, or should he have merely informed her he was coming?
4) Will that son truly be happy in a home in which he's not wanted
5) Since when do moms get mad at their sons and drop them off at someone else's house to live permanently?

I can see all three sides to this story...BUT they need to have a good old cosby style family meeting to get over the mom's weakness, the dad's cowardly approach, and the step mom's selfishness.

Notable and Quotable

Love simply cannot spring up without that self-surrender to each other. If either withholds the self, love cannot exist. --Dr. E. Stanley Jones

Featured Articles: Pucker Up

Want some tricks to becoming a better kisser? Check out this read:

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8955&TrackingID=516165&BannerID=541888&menuid=6&GT1=10582

ATL Celebrilove: Fiddy and CiCi

Below is what the Mirror is reporting about 50 Cent and how he helped Ciara celebrate her recent birthday.

"50 Cent is plane smitten..
VIP THE WORLD MUSIC AWARDS in Monte Carlo

You can't accuse 50 Cent of not being a romantic at heart. The rapper chartered a jet full of presents for his singer girlfriend Ciara's 22nd birthday.
Fiddy filled the plane with thousands of pounds worth of goodies, including fresh rose petals, teddy bears, candles and chocolates from a Dublin cake shop, and had it flown to the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo.
He also told 3am that he would treat her to 22 birthday parties at various exotic locations around the world.
Talk about keen."

Featured Articles: What We Argue About

The top five things couples argue about:

• Money: It is linked to power and often times big spenders fall in love with big savers...a recipe for trouble.
• Sex: How often to have it is the issue. Did you know the average person has sex 61 times per year. Thats around 5 times per month....
• Work: How much time are you taking from your signif other to give to your career?
• Kids: When to have them, and how to raise them?
• Chores: Seems like nothing, but often times its about respect.

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/02/22/the_top_5_things_couples_argue_about.htm

ATL Celebrilove: DISSmissed

If you need a primer on some of the latest relationship gossip....

• Bobby Brown dissed his former J.O. (Jump Off) Superhead on Ryan Cameron's show yesterday...see Sandrarose.com for audio
• Bow Wow is supposedly planning to lace an upcoming track w/ some subtle disses on ex-Ciara...see mediatakeout.com

Notable and Quotable

Three things of life that are most valuable -Love, self-confidence & friends.
~ Unknown ~

Featured Articles: SEX

I found this post on another website earlier...its one mans view of sex outside of his marriage...Its sad and disturbing, and scary...and probably true...damn


"Ask yourself: what's wrong with a little sex on the side (health risks aside). Most people would agree that we'd all be happier if we had it more often. I'm sorry of this offends anyone- but for people who expect to get married and only have sex with the spouse for ever, well, that's terribly arrogant in my view. I think I am reasonably skilled a sex after my 36 years- but I know that sometimes the fire gets a little lower (read as "boring") for me and my spouse. I can tell you that I quietly get some elsewhere when I need to and I suspect very strongly that "she" (my spouse) does too. We don't discuss it, we are both adults and I can tell you that I am crazy about my spouse. I would lose my mind if I was ever alone with out her. My feelings in this area have not a single thing to do with sex.
I know women are very tortured by this. I have heard this subject come up a lot with women over the years and I don't expect my few paragraphs to be a revelation to anyone; but I hope it's a little helpful to some worried women out there.
Don't worry. It's just sex. Be smart and see the larger picture."

Notable and Quotable

"What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel."

-Unknown

OFF TO SEE LOVE AT ITS FINEST THIS WEEKEND AT A WEDDING...POSTS WILL RESUME ON MONDAY (UNLESS THERE'S SOME GOOD DIRT TO SHARE BEFORE THEN)

Lesson Learned: Why Did I Get Married?

If you haven't seen Why Did I Get Married? Stop reading and go see it. If you have seen it, read on...

This movie easily sparks discussion about some of the problems we face in our African American marriages, how we try to fix them, and how we really should be fixing them. Any one who has seen the movie knows that the best scene is the "put it all out on the table" dinner scene. I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I got mad, and I cried some more.

What we can learn from these couples: (w/o giving too much of the story lines away in case those who havent seen it didnt heed my warning above)

Tyler Perry and His Workaholic Lawyer Wife: Its so easy for black women to fall into this trap. We strive so hard to overcome boundaries and to shatter glass ceilings that we devote all of ourselves to our careers. This woman actually had a "good" man, but she couldn't see that because she was blinded by making partner and meeting her billable hour requirements. What she failed to realize was that her daughter and her husband needed her far more than that law firm. If she died tomorrow, her office would stay empty for a few weeks , but the firm would move on w/o much heartbreak. Her husband and daughter however, would have an empty place in their hearts and their homes forever. Lesson learned: Keep your career in balance. Never let it outweigh family and friends. The greatest blessing we have our these relationships. Dont sacrifice yours for corporate America---I promise, Corporate America will make no sacrifices for you.

Janet Jackson and Malik Yoba: As a counselor herself, Janet and her movie hubby seemed to have things pretty much together. They knew how to communicate, and thats key. Where they fell short was being honest and forgiving. They shared their deepest hurts w/ friends rather than each other and smiled at and ignored pain to keep from feeling it. Lesson learned: Pain thats kept in will eat you alive. Own up to your mistakes and make a plan to move past them. When hurt by a partner, discuss it. Not speaking about the elephant in the room is not fair to you, your spouse, or the elephant.

The Drunk and her STD infected hubby: This couple looks like lots of couples in Atlanta. The wife makes more money than the husband so she feels that she wears the pants. The husband tries to get ahead but feels that he is being knocked down by his own wife. They lie to each other, disrespect each other, and cheat on each other....a recipe for divorce and disease. Lesson Learned: Women, no matter how many bills you pay in your household, if you want your man to stand up and be a man, you have to treat him like one. if you cant handle making more than him then dont be with him--but degrading and putting him down will only keep you both behind. Men--have a plan. Just because she makes more than you now, doesnt mean it always has to be that way. Exercise your manliness in other ways, for instance, leading family prayer, or starting a business. Dont let infidelity be your way of lashing out at your partner. Communicate, dont fornicate. And lastly, KEEP YO BABY MAMAS IN CHECK.

Jill Scott and Her AssHole Husband: This story continued to bring me to tears throughout the film. Jill played a role of inferiority and dependence. She depended on her husband for everything from money to her own self worth and happiness. Its easy to let a man's view of you shape how you see yourself. Lesson learned: if you dont love you, no one else will. if youre not happy w/ the way you look, then change what you can and accept what you cannot. if your man is not happy w/ the way you look...drop him.

Featured Articles

Want to know how you and your mate could grow closer after infidelity?


Read on:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21433484/?GT1=10450

Off My Chest: Bridezillas Beware

With the popularity of wedding websites and shows, the phenomenon of becoming a Bridezilla is taking over. I actually think many women anxiously await the opportunity to throw hissy fits, scream, fuss, and miss important dates in others lives while all the while blaming it on being a Bridezilla. Call me a hater if you want, but honey, that is not a good look. First and foremost, don't get it twisted. It was cute the first time you said, "I'm getting married and youre not." But the next 4 times made you sound like a 5 year old. Not everyone rushes into marriage after 3 months...sorry if me and mine are laying a rock solid foundation first. Secondly, don't get a big head. The rock, or shall I say pebble, on your finger, does not make you any hotter, cuter, or smarter than before you had it. Diamond possession does not make you an expert on all things wedding nor all things class. Poll a dozen people and I promise you we will all agree that going to the club after tying the knot is not really all that classy. Finally, you should be prohibited from exhibiting bridezilla behaviors if your wedding costs less than $20,000. Bridezilla tactics should be reserved for the platinum wedding type. By platinum, I really mean over $100,000 (hey, i'll give semi-platinum types a break too $20-$100K) When you've prepared a 5 course meal for your guests, Tiffany gifts for your bridal party, and are wearing a jewel encrusted Vera Wang gown, I"ll be a little more understanding of your tirades. However, when I've spent more on your wedding than you have, I wont be so understanding. People work 50 hour weeks and have mortgages, car notes, and lives that do not revolve around your wedding. I'll be there when I get there, I'll help you when I can, and I'll leave when I damn well feel like it. Your bitching, moaning, screaming, and complaining is for the birds. Keep it up and I know one bridezilla who's gonna be broke and begging for friends after this day is over.

Notable and Quotable

"Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life."
-Lord Byron

Featured Articles: Ugly Ducklings

So, according to a study discussed in the AJC today, ATLiens are not an attractive bunch of people...

Are we really that ugly?
By AJC Tuesday, October 23, 2007, 08:05 AM
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The website Travelandleisure.com and CNN Headline News have released the results of an online poll of travelers and residents on what they like (and don’t like) about 25 large cities in the United States, and Atlanta is not going to be happy with the results.
There are many different categories, and we do better in some than in others, but what jumped out was that we rank 23rd out of 25 cities for people-watching, and 19th out of 25 for attractiveness of the natives.

I will point out that the note above discusses attractiveness of natives...hmmm...glad I'm a transplant:)

ATL Celebrilove: Straight Gossip

Mediatakeout is reporting that Fantasia and Young Dro are dating these days...hmmm...me no think so. I"ve seen Dro's type, and its not Fantasia...plus I've met his girlfriend and she's a cutie. No Haps Tasia.

True Story

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12784368/?GT1=10450

Woman sues florist for 400K for providing the wrong color flowers....Bridezilla at its finest.

True Story

Read this article about a man and woman sticking together to raise a family and fight breast cancer at the same time.

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/10/17/beverly_1018.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

Keep them in your prayers!

Notable and Quotable

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
~Mother Teresa

Notable and Quotable

"Where there is love, there is God also."
~ Leo Tolstoy ~

Featured Articles

Why having a little Desperate Housewive's in ya can be a good thing...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21256467/?GT1=10450

Notable and Quotable

MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!

Pics of TIPs Big Thangs Poppin'

ATL Celebrilove: Locked Up...An Update

TI remains in federal custody as his bond was denied at least until Friday's hearing. As if this drama couldnt get any more interesting, sources close to the duo are reporting that Tiny is pregnant again. Congrats on that...but why the weed and ecstacy in your possession?

I guess we can only wish them all the best for the sake of the 19 children that are involved in the madness.

Featured Articles: The Guy's Rules.

(Thanks Rae)

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't e XPE ct us to act like soap opera guys.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to d o S omethingOr tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colo Urs, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want t o hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as BASEBALL , FOOTBALL, or golf.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Peachy Date Ideas: Why Did I Get Married

Although I havent seen it yet, word on the street (and by that I mean ST:) is that Tyler Perry's new flick is a must see. Its like therapy for your relationship. Grab your beau and hit the theater...I'll be doing the same.

Off My Chest/Lesson Learned: The Bend Factor

Everyone hates to do things that they don't want to do. That's a well known and accepted fact. What distinguishes the selfish from the rest of society is that those who can take the focus off of themselves at times, will do things that they really don't want to do for those that they love. Why? Because the person we love, loves doing whatever it is that he/she has asked us to do. So because we love them, we love it...at least every so often.

I'm not talking about yielding to your significant other's desires every waking moment of your life, but instead, on occasion, putting their needs before your own...besides, seeing a loving smile on their face from doing that which makes them happy, should make you happy. Call it bending, give or take, compromise...call it what you want, but it takes a lot of it to make a relationship a lasting one.

Don't be quick to overstate the bending that you do. You may think your as limber as they come, always bending over backwards to please your mate, but when it comes down to naming those things you do for his/her sole benefit ...your list comes up short. As a significant other you are a pillar of strength in your partner's life. He/she needs you. What they say is true. If you're not taking care of the needs of your mate, dont you worry because someone else or something else will be. Whether its another man or woman, his or her job, friends, or family, travelling, the strip club or alcohol, someone or something can quickly fill the void that you leave in your significant other's heart. Like B says, dont' ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable.

This is not to say that you should bend for your mate out of fear that he or she will cheat on you..because if thats all it takes then maybe you dont need that mate anyway. But this is to say that the energy you give out will be the energy you receive. This is so much bigger than tic for tac. If you give out selfishness, stubbornness, and coldness to the universe, thats exactly what you'll receive. You may not receive it from your mate--he or she is hopefully smart enough not to miss their own blessings by playing the 2 wrongs make a right game with you. But just because your mate is still cooking for you, cleaning for you and smiling with you...doesnt mean the universe is not ricocheting that treatment.

If you ever look out and you start to wonder why your friends have backstabbed you, why your parents have distanced themselves, why the job hasnt come through, why your account doesnt look like it should, why your body is in pain, why your mind is so stressed..take a step back and look at how you're treating the ones who love you most.

Bending for our mates is how we exercise our love. Get your relationship in shape..before its too late.

Notable and Quotable

"What you focus on .... is."
-Bre Dennis

Featured Articles

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/16758/11-things-women-dont-know-about-men

Check out the above link to learn 11 things about men that you may not have known....

Lesson Learned: Say a Prayer

Tired of arguing with your mate? Cried all that you can cry? Said all that you can say? Its easy to make up superficially, but what about the hurtful words that cut you deep, the pain you're harbouring in your heart.

Try saying this love prayer with your partner. A couple that prays together, stays together...

"Lord, help us remember that our love for each other reflects your love for us. May we empower one another to fulfill our purpose in life. May our love be an example for our friends and a model for all. May our experience as a couple give us a preview of the oneness we will experience someday. Help us to see that everything is either love or a call for love. Help us to celebrate our similarities and honor our differences. Help us to transcend our limitations and utilize our talents. Thank you for this opportunity, this life and for my loving partner. Amen."

ATL Celebrilove: Locked Up

What a weekend for ATL Celebs..both good and bad. In case you've been living under a rock...our very own Bonnie and Clyde were locked up on Saturday for attempting to take possession of unregistered machine guns...yes, Tiny too. Although, she was released at some point this weekend.

The pic shows Tiny being cuffed and placed on the curb. The guy in the red shirt is C Rod of PSC. Allegedly Mac boney and Dro were also arrested. Tiny was charged with possession of marijuana and ecstasy pills.

pic courtesy of concreteloop and splash news

I'll reserve comment for later...no actually, I'll speak on it now. I'm sick of all these gossip sites ridin' for Tip. Sure, he's innocent until proven guilty, but if he is guilty then he deserves to do the time for the crime. Stop putting hip hop artists on such a pedestal that they can do no wrong. They can, and they often do. I strongly believe the accusations are true. If he doesnt go down for it, well thats what good money and good lawyers do for you.

Featured Articles

A somewhat cocky Polow da Don dishes with the AJC about work and relationships...

http://www.accessatlanta.com/music/content/music/stories/2007/10/11/betfive_1011.html

Notable and Quotable

"Between husband and wife there should be no secrets from one another. I have a very high opinion of the marriage tie. I hold that husband and wife merge in each other. They are one in two or two in one."

Mahatma Ghandi

ATL Celebrilove

Although Diddy makes a lot of babies, he sure makes some cute ones...Check out one of his and Kim Porter's twin girls getting ready to swipe an AMEX.

Featured Articles: Happy Couples

Need to know the secrets of a happy couple? Well, they include sex, breaks, romance, and fair fighting...

http://msn.chemistry.com/msnarticles/WhatsTheirSecret?trackingid=508259&bannerid=2002324&GT1=10486

Featured Articles

For even more confessions of a video vixen, the AJC checked in with Karrine...

http://www.accessatlanta.com/music/content/music/stories/2007/10/09/bet_1010.html

Been There Done That

Words from the Wise...

Ahh! Uwh! Ouch! Okay! Mmm? All the sounds of someone who has "been there-done that. Lifes situations come to greet us and the former sounds become our responses. My learning is that we act rather then respond as not to miss lifes opportunities. Timing and opportunity are related. Don't miss your opportunity to experience life at it's fullest....your "been there-done that" season.

Notable and Quotable

"Don't ever stop dating your wife, and Don't ever stop flirting with your husband."
-Pastor Kochel

Featured Articles: Liar Liar

For those who think that relationships should be built on the truth (myself included) here's an article detailing when white lies may actually help your bond.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21110828/?GT1=10450

Peachy Date Ideas

Need an over the top date idea...take your beau on a destination New Years Eve trip. It's the perfect time for a sweet blend of partying and romance. With just 2 months before the big day...start planning now. Hot spots to ring in New Years Eve include NYC, Miami, Vegas, LA, London, or any snow topped mountain.

Get your travel on.

Notable and Quotable

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."
-Unknown.

Notable and Quotable

"Love is merely madness..." --William Shakespeare

Hello lovers and friends...im travelling until Sunday...posts will resume as normal then and I'll be launching the new column..."been there done that."

Off My Chest

If you listened to the Frank and Wanda morning show today maybe you were as disgusted as I was. The "scrupples" discussion of the day was spawned by RayJs book to be released claiming that he's slept with over 1100 women. Thats not a type-o...ELEVEN HUNDRED. When did numbers like this become impressive? Is he some sex symbol or "sex machine" now? No, he's more likely to be an STD-infested whore. I'm so not impressed by this behavior. And lets not forget the double standard. While many men will tout him for being such a sexual guru, when Supahead or any other female comes out to say the same thing, she's immediately a ho. Lets try to get these numbers down ladies and gentleman. When you can no longer count your sexual partners on both your hands and toes (and thats giving you some leeway) it may be time to take a sabbatical. By the time your spouse gets you you'll be as riden as a 1967 Chevy.

ATL Celebrilove: Keyzy

Despite breakup rumors, Keyshia Cole attended Jeezys D-list bday party last weekend. They don't look too in love, maybe the breakup rumors are true. Evidently the bandaid and scratches Jeezy's rockin' are a result of a car accident he had earlier that night. If thats true, thank goodness he's ok. (For more pics see ybf.blogspot.com)

Notable and Quotable

"The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage."

-Will Cuppy

Featured Articles: BackSlidin'

Thinkin' about going back to your ex...read this first.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5920&TrackingID=523934&BannerID=566942&menuid=6&GT1=10486

Upcoming Events for You and Yours

A few upcoming events to be aware of:

• Mike Epps and Rickey Smiley are at the Fox this weekend (Sat. and Sun. shows on sale) See Ticketmaster.com

• R. Kelly will be in concert with Keyshia Cole and J. Holiday on Nov. 15th at Philips Arena. Tickets go on sale Friday.

Letter to My Ex: Soup's Engagement

Dear "Soup",

If your latest relationship status update on facebook is correct, then I should be congratulating you on your recent engagement. You are actually the first of my exes to get engaged. While some would expect that I'd "feel some type of way" about that, I really don't.

Our relationship was a weird one, and in fact, you were the weird one. From your style to your "preferences" I never really figured you out. You were never sure if you were ready to commit and I finally grew tired of your yo-yoing me around.

We did have some great times partying together. (I still thank God that he brought me through those holidays in the tri state area). Your friends were my friends and I also take pride in the fact that before me you were damn near an atheist but immediately after me you got baptized. (Snaps for me bringing souls to Christ!).

You tried to rekindle a few years later, but I never really wanted to go down that road with you again. Based on the man I'm in love with today, I don’t really see why I was ever so attracted to you. Maybe it was just a freshman phase.

Anyhoo, I checked out the pics of your fiance, and, well…shes "cuterish." Kind of like Usher going from Chile to Tameka..a slight downgrade, but hey, if you like her, I love her. No hard feelings, in fact, no feelings at all. Maybe this means I never really loved you as anything more than just a friend. Best of luck in married life. Don't worry about sending me an invitation, I think I'm busy on your wedding day.

Two Fingers.

Featured Articles: The Science Behind Meaningless Sex

So as if there isn't a need to develop a cure for AIDS and cancer and everything us that ails our community, researchers decided to research the "friends with benefits" relationship...or as we call it around here, being a splack.

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/10/01/sexfriends.html

Notable and Quotable

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
-Albert Einstein

Notable and Quotable

Love, true love, is that which can give the mostwithout asking or demanding anything in return.
~ Mazie Hammond ~

Lesson Learned: From sexy splack to super serious

I'd like to pose a question to the masses. Can you move from just having no strings attached sex with someone to having a true and respectable friendship? Can a jump off turn into a client, business partner, confidant, and friend?

Part of me thinks no. That once you've given yourself to a person sexually without demanding any more in return that at least for a woman, the man will never truly respect you and place you on the pedestal on which you should be. He'll always see you as his "splack" despite your intelligence, drive, and capacity for true friendship.

On the other hand, we are all adults. People come into our lives for reasons and seasons. Maybe we are all smart enough to use multiple parts of our brains and separate the business side of a person from the pleasure side of a person. Even though he may have been a friend with benefits, maybe he has a greater purpose to play in your life later on. Maybe you shouldnt foreclose those opportunities.

Despite the true answer, i think its important to set clear boundaries if you are now trying to do business or build a friendship with someone you used to "mess" with. Maybe you need to disappear for a while. End the creeping, disappear, and come back more professional than ever. Maybe he or she will see you in a new light. Communication is also key. Talk about your new relationship and how the days of old are gone. When in doubt, never go down that road with someone with whom you hope to establish a more lasting connection with. The chances that he'll take you seriously after smackin' your behind in a love making session is slim to none.

When I said the smart get the hell out of dodge during weekends like this in ATL, I wasnt playing....travelling for the weekend, posts will resume as normal on Monday (unless I find steady internet access here before then)

Notable and Quotable

"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"
-Abraham Lincoln

Featured Articles: Spoofem

Sandra Rose first reported about a new device that allows you to not only mask your number when calling someone but to show a different number. Do you think your ex is still communicating with his ex, well get her number and make it show up on his id when you call...see if he answers with a sound of confusion or will a sound of comfort...interesting.

www.spoofem.com

ATL Celebrilove: Bonnie and Clyde Edition

Clyde held his Bday party in the ATL last night w/ other September babies Weezy and Jeezy. Here's a pic of the "3 the hard way" crew and Bonnie. I wonder what the heck she's thinking...

Upcoming Events/Lesson Learned: Atlanta Football Classic

We all know that this weekend Fam U takes on TSU right here in the ATL. In the midst of all the pigskin, step shows, job fairs, health screenings and parades, there will be an influx of college aged boppers and wanna be show stoppers infiltrating our streets and parties. Be safe out there. Remember that real estate agents come a dime a dozen around here, video hoeing is not modeling, and just because he says he plays football, he doesnt' necessarily mean the NFL. Don't get duped ladies and gentlemen. The good is that maybe there really will be 100 black men in Atlanta this weekend. The bad is that weekends like this tend to bring out all the fake and phony that Atlanta has to offer. If you're smart you'll hit up a few lounges but will leave Esso and Compound to those people who are yet to have a mortgage and a car in their name. If you're smarter...well, you're getting the hell out of dodge.

Enjoy!

ATL Celebrilove: Home of the Braves

Check out Braves player Andruw Jones, his wife and son and their Duluth home in this recent AJC article:

http://www.ajc.com/business/content/business/private/stories/2007/09/26/pqajones2_0930.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

Notable and Quotable

"A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults. "
-Charles Kingsley

Notable and Quotable

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin

Please Read!!!!! Missing Chicago Woman

Although this blog is dedicated to love and relationships in Atlanta, sometimes national emergencies are far more important. Please spread the word and most importantly pray for this sister in Chicago.

True Story: Chivalry's Not Dead--Puzzling Proposal and Mi Kidney Es Su Kidney

ATL Men, here's a neat proposal idea:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070924/ap_on_fe_st/odd_crossword_proposal

and talk about true love and compatibility at its finest...
http://www.ajc.com/living/content/living/stories/2007/09/24/real_0926.html

Notable and Quotable

With Atlanta's Murder Rate being up by 22% the notable and quotable for today is simple, make love, not war!

Lesson Learned: Family Ties

In the intensity of getting to know a significant other we often neglect getting to know their families. This is a huge mistake. The family that raised, taught, and nurtured your beau is so important to who he/she is and who he/she will be with you. Not only does taking an interest in your signif other's family show him or her that you truly are interested in loving them on a deeper level, but it allows you to learn more about why he does what he does, acts how he acts, and says what he says.

Ever wondered why your girlfriend never says the words I love you but acts like she does? Maybe her dad never told her, but chose to show her in other ways. Does it bother you that your boyfriend doesn't hug and isn't all that affectionate? Maybe he and his mom have that same kind of "hands off" but loving relationship. Just because you and your family do things one way doesn't mean that another family's way of doing things is wrong. Spending time with the family will both teach and strengthen. Its not about making a good impression (although that's a plus) its about making an informed decision.

There's nothing better than loving every part of your man, his mother included. So whether its for Christmas, or just for Sunday football, head on out to see the fam...you won't regret it. . . (besides, if your boo won't introduce you to the fam, well, you've got other problems on your hands)!

Notable and Quotable

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher

ATL Celebrilove: Gabby and Luda?!?!

The blogosphere has been reporting for weeks now that Gabrielle Union and Ludacris are an item. They have been spotted all around the US recently getting quite cozy. The daily dish is now reporting:

A Beautiful Union for Ludacris?
Sexy actress Gabrielle Union has a new hip-hop honey in the shape of birthday boy Ludacris.
The rapper, who recently turned 30, and the "Bad Boys II" star have been dating for the last two months, according to friends.
The new romance is Union's first serious fling since she split from husband Chris Howard in 2005.
Union, 34, was the rapper's special guest at his recent birthday party, which he held at Cafe Martorano at the Rio hotel in Las Vegas on September 7.
A source who attended the exclusive party tells In Touch Weekly magazine, "They were openly affectionate."

They could be a cute couple. That is if she stays outta the streets just a tad. I think Im still a fan of Luda's baby mama who is a self supporting Attorney. Here they are even pictured with his mom (pre braid cut off)

ATL Celebrilove: Hmmmmm....

Urshmeka was spotted out and about. She just doesn't look 7 month preggers to me. Bigger than Usher yes, but 7 months preggers, no.

Notable and Quotable

"Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man."
~ Unknown ~

Featured Articles: Your Horoscope

Check out what the stars are saying about your love life ...
http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/DeptLove.aspx?returnURL=DeptLoveToday&sign=&s1=&s2=&Af=-1000

Notable and Quotable

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
~Jonathan Carroll

ATL Celebrilove: Diddy Comin' Out The Pocket

Word on the blogosphere is that Diddy is in ATL today to determine the amount of child support he'll have to pay for his 1 year old daughter by his 2nd Atlanta baby mama. Spies are predicting that Sarah Chapman will get about $25K per month. Baaallliiin'

Lesson Learned: I am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

Today is one of those monumental days in my life. Those who know me by name rather than moniker know what I did. It reminds me that being a woman is about so many things. Its about being a nurturer but also looking out for self. About being a mother, but also a wife. Being weak, but also being strong. Being YBFSP (Young, black, fabulous, successful, and professional) in Atlanta is a beautiful thing. We strike those balances better than any other women I know. Be proud of being a woman in Atlanta. You can do it all, see it all, and be it all. We own our own homes and cars and have lucrative careers. More importantly we are grounded and faithful (well some of us) to our families, our men, and our people. So continue to thank God and tell those trying to keep you in place to get off the road, because here we come! (and I mean that oh so literally:)

Featured Articles: Cheating on your Man, With your Man!

When keepin' it real goes wrong on the internet...

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=66504&in_page_id=34

i HEART atlanta

i HEART atlanta because African American productions like Women of Brewster's place come around quite frequently.

While the ending left a little to be desired for me, I recommend going to see it at Alliance Theater while its here until Sept. 20. I promise that as a woman of color you will see a piece of yourself in at least one (if not all) of the women of that infamous housing project. From the oversexed Eta Mae, to the comforting and faithful Mattie, their struggles and spirits resonate in us all. We are lucky to live in a city where African American productions such as this come to inspire and uplift. Support it and don't take it for granted. Grab your girlfriends and some tissue and get ready to watch a piece of you on stage.

www.alliancetheater.org

Notable and Quotable

"Don't hold in your tears, that's how we drown. Letting the tears flow washes away the pain."
-Mattie, Women of Brewster's Place

Notable and Quotable

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
-Herman Hesse

ATL Celebrilove: Urshmeka

Usher caught up with AJC folks last week and chatted a bit about life and love. He described this year as tumultuous. Hmmm, either Ursh doesn't fully understand what the word means or he knows exactly what he's doing when he describes his marriage to Tameka, birth of his first child, and losing mom as manager as "highly agitated; distraught; turbulent" (from dictionary.com) Marrying Tameka would agitate me too. He did go on to say, "But I'm so happy about my marriage and my child on the way." (I'm sorry but tumultuous and happy just don't go together) While he does know the sex of the child, he won't tell just yet. As for rumors of him selling his Alpharetta home, he explained, "Oh I'm not leaving...I think I'll always be an Atlantan."

Featured Article: Atlanta's Men Have Cooties!

According to an article published in the AJC today, men do not wash their hands as frequently as women do after using the restroom. In fact, at Atlanta's Turner Field, where one study took place, only 57 percent of guys there washed their hands after going potty, compared to 95 percent of women.

I know, this doesn't have much to do with love and relationships, but just try to remember your hand sanitizer after you shake hands with the guys you meet around here.

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/shared-gen/ap/Health_Medical/Dirty_Hands.html

Lesson Learned: The Double Date

To maintain the sanity of your relationship I highly recommend finding another similarly situated couple and double dating. It really is good for your own duo to spend some quality time with another couple who may be going through many of the things you find yourselves going through. You can probably offer each other valuable advice and its good to see that 1) You aren't crazy and 2) Your relationship isn't the only one with minor setbacks. We all go through it!

The key to double dating is to find the right couple. Its often best to go with your or your signif other's best friend and his/her signif other. (Rather than meeting a random couple on the street who may think you wanna swing!)The girl can't be sleazy…because then you may find her in bed with your man one night. And the guy can't be a ho either--who wants to have to fight off their man's best friend. Pick a couple that has similar interests and a compatible lifestyle. If you and your mate go to church every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, double dating with Magic City's finest and her dope boy boyfriend probably won't work. Pick a nice spot that allows for conversation and good times and get your double date on. I promise it'll be good for ya!

Shout out to ST and TP

Notable and Quotable

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

Franklin P. Jones

Notable and Quotable

"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them."
~ by Mae West ~

Peachy Date Ideas

Looking for something to do besides dinner and a movie this weekend? Try going to see Women of Brewster's Place at Alliance Theater or Stevie Wonder at Chastain. End the weekend watching some pigskin together at your place while you cook Sunday dinner.

Enjoy.

i HEART atlanta

For an upscale dinner with your signif other I heart Chops. Its a restaurant in Buckhead that is to die for. Not only do you get multiple waiters but you get a wine expert and a little device to keep your butter warm during dinner. Go for the Caprese salad if its a special for the day and the flash fried lobster tail. Yum.

ATL Celebrilove: Porter-Chapman-Combs Love Triangle

If you care, I surely dont, Sarah Chapman--diddy's other baby mama has decided to speak out about her relationship with Diddy, his first little girl (yes, she delivered before Kim delivered the twins), and her relationship with Kim.

As we reminisce on 9/11, pray for our troops to come home, and rally against injustices like the Jena 6....who really gives an ish about 2 jump off/gold diggin' baby mamas who now seek the limelight. I'm sure a tell all book is coming from both camps.

If you just need to kill some brain cells today, Sandra Rose got the exclusive interview w/ Sarah

http://www.sandrarose.com/

Letter To My Ex: My High School Sweetheart

Introducing a new segment on Love's A Peach entitled: Letter To My Ex. This column features letters written by myself and other readers to our exes. It gives you a chance to thank, vent, threaten, whatever you need to do. If you'd like to submit a letter to your ex to be published, please email ncdecapres9900@hotmail.com. All postings will remain anonymous, unless you desire otherwise.

Dear High School Sweetheart,

Do you remember me--your high school sweetheart? I sure hope so. I was just reminiscing on how we met. You were the new kid at school, star of the football team, and all around most wanted. So of course, I had to have you. Being a cheerleader, class president, and social butterfly--it was only fitting. After passing each other in the hallway after school, our relationship came naturally. I was in love. Or at least I thought I was. We met in 1997 and I had plans to be your wife by 2000. We'd bring kids into the world by '04 and live happily ever after. I was going to be a lawyer and you would play in the NFL. We would live the life.

In hindsight, it’s a good thing that going off to college put a halt in our plans. While you had all the promise of being a first round draft pick, since 1999 you've been shot multiple times, have shot back, sold drugs, participated in numerous financial scams, and you have 2 children by 3 baby mamas. OK. Just joking. Only 2 BMs.

We had some great times though. We did the typical high school dating like going to the movies and the bowling alley; skipping school to go to the nearest amusement park; and making out in the back of my 1998 Nissan Stanza. We went to prom together and to family gatherings together. Since I graduated a year before you did, I had to leave town for college. That’s when the long distance relationship started. As you well know--that didn’t last very long.

All the college men took my attention and I quickly stopped returning your calls and eventually broke up with you on Christmas Eve 2000 outside of your sister's house. Bad timing, I know. What's great though is that we remain good friends to this day--starkly incompatible and unequally yoked, but good friends nonetheless. I still pray for your safety and hope that you can one day have a better life with one of those BMs (one of which was my best friend in high school, dammit!)

Sometimes I wonder why you still hold a special place in my life. I think its because high school sweethearts teach us a lot. You taught me the ABCs of dating. Its your high school sweetheart that first gives you those butterflies in your stomach. Before you, I never really knew what it felt like to be attracted romantically to someone of the opposite sex. At the time that infatuation felt like love. Whatever it was, it’s the seed that has been able to grow over time into the love that I now share with my significant other. You also taught me how to establish boundaries. This is the first time in life that sexual feelings are raging through your body and you actually have someone that you could experiment with. Its at this point in your life that you start to establish some serious morals about who you are and what you are willing to give to a relationship at different stages. You taught me that true love waits, not always for marriage, but it waits.

Most importantly, you taught me that your lover should also be your friend. In reality, that’s what we were. We were too young to really feed a relationship. We were just best friends trying to "act" like we were in a relationship. There's really nothing wrong with that though. Because of you I now look for men that can not only love with me, but laugh with me. When I think of you I think of the simple things in life. Inexpensive gifts and dates, phone calls, and simple arguments. Its important to remember that the simple things matter, as sometimes its easy for me to get wrapped up in my intense career, much more serious disagreements, expensive travelling and life altering decisions. When we were together we had our whole lives in front of us. We dreamt big. I learned to do it then and still do to this day.

You laid the rock in the foundation that is my love life. I'll always appreciate you for that.

Sincerely,

Your High School Sweetheart

Lesson Learned: Today is a Special Day.

In fact, everyday is a special day. Whether you are single, married, in love, or not so--today is a special day. Take a minute and think about (and post in the comments section) why today (Sept. 13, 2007) is a special day for you.

For me its special because God woke myself and my friends and family up with clothes to put on our backs, and food to put in our bellies. I have a job and I'm going home tonight to a man I love.

Why is today special for you????

for more answers go over to thatsmyanswer.com

Notable and Quotable

"Soul meets soul on lover's lips."
~ Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

Lesson Learned: The Marriage Contract

This morning, the Frank and Wanda morning show on V103 discussed a somewhat sensitive relationship issue: To prenup or not to prenup, that is the question. Its interesting to me that years ago women were generally against prenups. That's likely because we knew our husbands would be the primary providers and would likely make more than us throughout the course of the relationship. Of course we wanted to capitalize and be able to take half if d day ever came.
Well, the tide has turned, and as many of you are well aware, women often out earn men in today's relationships. With our degrees and businesses, not only do we currently out earn some of our lovers but we have the potential to continue doing so. Accordingly, our views on prenups have changed--at least mine have over the years.

A prenup is a contract. It doesnt say any certain thing on its own. You give it meaning by what you and your fiance decide to put in it. You can agree on any and everything you'd like. Frank Ski said this morning, and I agree, that a prenup is like insurance. It protects you for a rainy day. If your marriage ends by death, as it should, then the prenup never comes into play and your spouse will receive your estate via your will or intestate laws. If however, it ends because your partner "changed," cheated, or the love has otherwise died, then why would you want to share your financial estate with him/her??? Some say, why plan for divorce, marriages are supposed to last. Yea, well supposed to and do are two different things. You have to be realistic about it and the truth is that divorce rates are through the roof.

Once you decide to get a prenup, what should it say? Here are some of my ideas:

• Everything we owned separately before the marriage is separate property and cant be touched by the other party
• Any gifts given directly to one party is that person's separate property
• Any monies received from separate careers remains that person's separate property
• Any monies received from jointly owned companies and business ventures will be split according to the terms of that business's operating agreement
• If you cheat (to be defined later) you get nothing but your half of the jointly owned businesses described above (no chance of rehabilitative or reimbursement alimony)
• If one party is a stay at home spouse and/or supports the household while the other works then that party will receive some reimbursement and rehabilitative alimony to get him/her on their feet again. This amount will be reduced by monies given during the marriage.
• None of this affects child support. The party getting custody of the child will receive funds necessary to give THE CHILDREN the same life they would have received had the parties remained married.

As you can see, there is a lot to think about. After you get that 2 carat Tiffany's engagement ring, celebrate, but then sit down to communicate about your financial futures together and in the event of default. Its just like a business deal. Marriage is a contract. When you breach your agreement, the contract is terminated. Accordingly you lose all future profits from that marriage and should not be able to take from the deal as if you hadn't breached. I know that seems to take the love out of the picture and makes the marriage formulaic, but hey, when it comes to my finances give me a formula--whats love got to do with it.

Besides, if both parties hold up their ends of the bargain the prenup will be a piece of paper that never sees the light of day and both parties will share in the fruits of the marriage's labor. Whats mine will be his, whats his will be mine, and whats ours will be forever ours.

All I know is I'll be getting one, and so should you.

Notable and Quotable

"Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary: I humbly pray to Heaven above that I love the man I marry."

--Rose Stokes

Off My Chest: Keyshia Cole Edition

Keyshia Cole's comment to Essence magazine (see below) has really rubbed me the wrong way. She uses her desire to accomplish her goals as a reason not to get married. I think its a cop out. Yes, with marriage does come a form of submission to your husband if he is a man of God. But that submission is not blind and does not come with you being barefoot and pregnant for the rest of your life. If you have dreams and goals, marriage does not have to halt them. If anything, it could fuel them. Instead of being alone in this world fighting corporate america, line of credit loaners and others who may be against you, you now have a friend, a confidant, a business partner. I look at couples like the Mitchells (spotlighted in the older post section below) and see that sometimes two heads are better than one. Yes, we are totally competent on our own, but the skills of a mate may propel us to a higher level. Marriages these days aren't about just being a good housewife. If that's what you want, then you have my full support to be the best damn housewife you can be. Its a hard job and I commend you. But if you want to own a business, write a book, start a practice...let your spouse be your advisor, your business partner, your shoulder to lean on . Stop putting off marriage because you need to "get your business off the ground first" or need to "get where you need to be in your career." Thats something that only us black folks do. We feel the need to have all of our ducks in a row and then we look to marry. By then, your stubborn, stuck in your ways and will likely have a hard time fitting your mate into your already cookie cut life. Take a hint from some of my white friends. When you find your true love, marry. Build your lives, careers, and goals together. You may struggle for a bit, but it makes the pot at the end of the rainbow that much brighter. If you are considering marrying someone that doesn't support your dreams, that doesnt believe in your vision, and wants you to take the back burner in areas where you naturally shine then dont say you'll wait to marry him when your goals are accomplished, but never marry him because he is not the one. There is nothing hotter than a couple that sleeps together, prays together and makes money together. That's what being three sixty is all about.

So Keyshia, if Jeezy didnt support your dreams, then cool...drop him. But don't make it seem like you'd have to trade the mic for a maternity gown just because you tied the knot. It sends a bad message to young girls who want it all....careers and more traditional marriage roles. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

Featured Article: For Fellas Only

With for sistas only coming up this weekend (see v103.com for details), here's something for the men out there. Men's Health has reported on 5 key areas in which ladies judge you on the first date. After reading, i'll say that its quite true. Below are some ideas (loosely based on the article) on how to overcome these problem areas and to make date #2 a reality.

• We don't like yellow teeth/bad breath.

Make whitening strips, Scope and altoids a part of your pre-date routine. If your situation is serious, take a trip on down to Bright Smiles before you pick me up. Yellow Teeth + Bad Breath = No GoodNight Kiss

• We don't like dirty nails.

There is nothing gay about getting a manicure. Find the nearest shop and get that done for $22. Also, eating three eggs a week will give your body the protein it needs to build strong nails.

• We don't like dirty shoes.

Please pull out the crispy ones or the freshly shined loafers for our night on the town. Scuffs, tears and marks are not the business. As a trick, use a Mr. Clean magic eraser to keep white sneaks clean.

• We dont' like to wing it.

Have a plan. Make reservations, pick us up on time and have a post-dinner itinerary. Whether its pre purchased movie tickets (were you seriously gonna make me stand in line??) or dessert/coffee at Intermezzo, have something together. It shows dependability and excitement.

• We don't like road rage.

We want to see that you can stay cool, calm, and collected even under pressure. Road rage on the first date = battered women's syndrome years down the road.

http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=5372799&GT1=10416

Featured Articles: F as in Fat

Did you know Georgia is ranked 14th in the nation for the Fattest Adults? Why? Because we eat fattening foods and do not exercise. Its time for some portion control ladies and gentleman--some plate pushing and working out. No, not everyone needs to be a size 2, but you do need to be healthy. Make a promise to yourself that you'll start today---without diet pills and lipo, but with a healthy routine. Besides, if you look good, you'll feel good.

Read the article here: http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/stories/2007/08/27/obesityga0827.html

ATL Celebrilove: Keyshia Cole Edition

The blogosphere is reporting that Keyshia Cole and Rapper Jeezy are no more. She is featured in the upcoming Essence magazine where she says:

“I just couldn’t do it. It’s weird. After this guy proposed to me, I was like, dang, this is everything a woman lives for: to be married, with a ring, to be able to represent something. But for me, it was the opposite. I was scared. When you get married, you become one; you don’t live just for yourself anymore. I’m just not ready for that. I’m not done with my goals in life. What’s the word when you just kind of fall back and let your man do the man thing? Submit? I’m all jacked up on that word. I just couldn’t submit. But I loved him. That’s the crazy thing about it. It’s been hard because I really missed that child.”

She doesn't mention Jeezy by name, but this very well could be him. They have definitely been dating and have been spotted all around the A over the past year. We shall see...

...Congratulations are in order for 112 singer, Darren Jones, who got married this weekend.

Notable and Quotable

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
-Henry Louis Mencken

Spotlight: Six Questions with Lil' Duval

The views of Lil' Duval are IN NO WAY the views of Love's A Peach. Read at your own risk. I'm just the messenger.

He hails from Jacksonville, Florida but lives in the ATL. You've seen him on BET's Coming to the Stage. He hosted this year's Ozone Awards. You can catch him every Tuesday night at Trippin' on Tuesdays. He's Grand Hustle. He's to the point. And normally, He's hilarious. However after reading 6 Questions with Lil' Duval (or at least the part that's suitable for posting) , you'll probably be left saying "Is he serious, I can't believe he said that!" I really hope his views on love, protection and groupies are not the views of Atlanta's men...You be the judge.

Love's A Peach: What's your relationship status?

Lil Duval: It depends on if the person wants to give me some.


Love's A Peach: What's the hardest thing about dating for you in light of your celebrity status?

Lil Duval: People holding back on giving me some because I'll think they're a groupie.


Love's A Peach: Well if a girl gave it up on the first night would you think she's a groupie?

Lil Duval: Nah, the groupie is the one that doesn't wanna give me none, but just wants to hang with me.


Love's A Peach: What's the best advice you can give to women dating in Atlanta?

Lil Duval: Use protection so I don't have to on you.


Love's A Peach: What is love to you?

Lil Duval: Its letting someone get on your insurance because they don't have any.


Love's A Peach: What do you have going on besides dating?

Lil Duval: [a term for masturbation I wont post on this site], and other than that looking at ghetto booties 1-60.

WTF??!!?? There you have it ladies and gentleman...the mind of a 20 something comedian in Atlanta. I really hope he was playing--I mean he is a comedian. But damn Lil Duval, damn. That's all I can say. If you wanna learn more about him you can visit his site at www.myspace.com/rolandpowell.

...as an update, after asking Lil Duval to look at this interview b/c it may rub some people the wrong way, he stated, "Let them know I'm just joking."

For more jokes go on down to Uptown Comedy every Tuesday.