Notable and Quotable

"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them."
~ by Mae West ~

Peachy Date Ideas

Looking for something to do besides dinner and a movie this weekend? Try going to see Women of Brewster's Place at Alliance Theater or Stevie Wonder at Chastain. End the weekend watching some pigskin together at your place while you cook Sunday dinner.

Enjoy.

i HEART atlanta

For an upscale dinner with your signif other I heart Chops. Its a restaurant in Buckhead that is to die for. Not only do you get multiple waiters but you get a wine expert and a little device to keep your butter warm during dinner. Go for the Caprese salad if its a special for the day and the flash fried lobster tail. Yum.

ATL Celebrilove: Porter-Chapman-Combs Love Triangle

If you care, I surely dont, Sarah Chapman--diddy's other baby mama has decided to speak out about her relationship with Diddy, his first little girl (yes, she delivered before Kim delivered the twins), and her relationship with Kim.

As we reminisce on 9/11, pray for our troops to come home, and rally against injustices like the Jena 6....who really gives an ish about 2 jump off/gold diggin' baby mamas who now seek the limelight. I'm sure a tell all book is coming from both camps.

If you just need to kill some brain cells today, Sandra Rose got the exclusive interview w/ Sarah

http://www.sandrarose.com/

Letter To My Ex: My High School Sweetheart

Introducing a new segment on Love's A Peach entitled: Letter To My Ex. This column features letters written by myself and other readers to our exes. It gives you a chance to thank, vent, threaten, whatever you need to do. If you'd like to submit a letter to your ex to be published, please email ncdecapres9900@hotmail.com. All postings will remain anonymous, unless you desire otherwise.

Dear High School Sweetheart,

Do you remember me--your high school sweetheart? I sure hope so. I was just reminiscing on how we met. You were the new kid at school, star of the football team, and all around most wanted. So of course, I had to have you. Being a cheerleader, class president, and social butterfly--it was only fitting. After passing each other in the hallway after school, our relationship came naturally. I was in love. Or at least I thought I was. We met in 1997 and I had plans to be your wife by 2000. We'd bring kids into the world by '04 and live happily ever after. I was going to be a lawyer and you would play in the NFL. We would live the life.

In hindsight, it’s a good thing that going off to college put a halt in our plans. While you had all the promise of being a first round draft pick, since 1999 you've been shot multiple times, have shot back, sold drugs, participated in numerous financial scams, and you have 2 children by 3 baby mamas. OK. Just joking. Only 2 BMs.

We had some great times though. We did the typical high school dating like going to the movies and the bowling alley; skipping school to go to the nearest amusement park; and making out in the back of my 1998 Nissan Stanza. We went to prom together and to family gatherings together. Since I graduated a year before you did, I had to leave town for college. That’s when the long distance relationship started. As you well know--that didn’t last very long.

All the college men took my attention and I quickly stopped returning your calls and eventually broke up with you on Christmas Eve 2000 outside of your sister's house. Bad timing, I know. What's great though is that we remain good friends to this day--starkly incompatible and unequally yoked, but good friends nonetheless. I still pray for your safety and hope that you can one day have a better life with one of those BMs (one of which was my best friend in high school, dammit!)

Sometimes I wonder why you still hold a special place in my life. I think its because high school sweethearts teach us a lot. You taught me the ABCs of dating. Its your high school sweetheart that first gives you those butterflies in your stomach. Before you, I never really knew what it felt like to be attracted romantically to someone of the opposite sex. At the time that infatuation felt like love. Whatever it was, it’s the seed that has been able to grow over time into the love that I now share with my significant other. You also taught me how to establish boundaries. This is the first time in life that sexual feelings are raging through your body and you actually have someone that you could experiment with. Its at this point in your life that you start to establish some serious morals about who you are and what you are willing to give to a relationship at different stages. You taught me that true love waits, not always for marriage, but it waits.

Most importantly, you taught me that your lover should also be your friend. In reality, that’s what we were. We were too young to really feed a relationship. We were just best friends trying to "act" like we were in a relationship. There's really nothing wrong with that though. Because of you I now look for men that can not only love with me, but laugh with me. When I think of you I think of the simple things in life. Inexpensive gifts and dates, phone calls, and simple arguments. Its important to remember that the simple things matter, as sometimes its easy for me to get wrapped up in my intense career, much more serious disagreements, expensive travelling and life altering decisions. When we were together we had our whole lives in front of us. We dreamt big. I learned to do it then and still do to this day.

You laid the rock in the foundation that is my love life. I'll always appreciate you for that.

Sincerely,

Your High School Sweetheart

Lesson Learned: Today is a Special Day.

In fact, everyday is a special day. Whether you are single, married, in love, or not so--today is a special day. Take a minute and think about (and post in the comments section) why today (Sept. 13, 2007) is a special day for you.

For me its special because God woke myself and my friends and family up with clothes to put on our backs, and food to put in our bellies. I have a job and I'm going home tonight to a man I love.

Why is today special for you????

for more answers go over to thatsmyanswer.com

Notable and Quotable

"Soul meets soul on lover's lips."
~ Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

Lesson Learned: The Marriage Contract

This morning, the Frank and Wanda morning show on V103 discussed a somewhat sensitive relationship issue: To prenup or not to prenup, that is the question. Its interesting to me that years ago women were generally against prenups. That's likely because we knew our husbands would be the primary providers and would likely make more than us throughout the course of the relationship. Of course we wanted to capitalize and be able to take half if d day ever came.
Well, the tide has turned, and as many of you are well aware, women often out earn men in today's relationships. With our degrees and businesses, not only do we currently out earn some of our lovers but we have the potential to continue doing so. Accordingly, our views on prenups have changed--at least mine have over the years.

A prenup is a contract. It doesnt say any certain thing on its own. You give it meaning by what you and your fiance decide to put in it. You can agree on any and everything you'd like. Frank Ski said this morning, and I agree, that a prenup is like insurance. It protects you for a rainy day. If your marriage ends by death, as it should, then the prenup never comes into play and your spouse will receive your estate via your will or intestate laws. If however, it ends because your partner "changed," cheated, or the love has otherwise died, then why would you want to share your financial estate with him/her??? Some say, why plan for divorce, marriages are supposed to last. Yea, well supposed to and do are two different things. You have to be realistic about it and the truth is that divorce rates are through the roof.

Once you decide to get a prenup, what should it say? Here are some of my ideas:

• Everything we owned separately before the marriage is separate property and cant be touched by the other party
• Any gifts given directly to one party is that person's separate property
• Any monies received from separate careers remains that person's separate property
• Any monies received from jointly owned companies and business ventures will be split according to the terms of that business's operating agreement
• If you cheat (to be defined later) you get nothing but your half of the jointly owned businesses described above (no chance of rehabilitative or reimbursement alimony)
• If one party is a stay at home spouse and/or supports the household while the other works then that party will receive some reimbursement and rehabilitative alimony to get him/her on their feet again. This amount will be reduced by monies given during the marriage.
• None of this affects child support. The party getting custody of the child will receive funds necessary to give THE CHILDREN the same life they would have received had the parties remained married.

As you can see, there is a lot to think about. After you get that 2 carat Tiffany's engagement ring, celebrate, but then sit down to communicate about your financial futures together and in the event of default. Its just like a business deal. Marriage is a contract. When you breach your agreement, the contract is terminated. Accordingly you lose all future profits from that marriage and should not be able to take from the deal as if you hadn't breached. I know that seems to take the love out of the picture and makes the marriage formulaic, but hey, when it comes to my finances give me a formula--whats love got to do with it.

Besides, if both parties hold up their ends of the bargain the prenup will be a piece of paper that never sees the light of day and both parties will share in the fruits of the marriage's labor. Whats mine will be his, whats his will be mine, and whats ours will be forever ours.

All I know is I'll be getting one, and so should you.

Notable and Quotable

"Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary: I humbly pray to Heaven above that I love the man I marry."

--Rose Stokes

Off My Chest: Keyshia Cole Edition

Keyshia Cole's comment to Essence magazine (see below) has really rubbed me the wrong way. She uses her desire to accomplish her goals as a reason not to get married. I think its a cop out. Yes, with marriage does come a form of submission to your husband if he is a man of God. But that submission is not blind and does not come with you being barefoot and pregnant for the rest of your life. If you have dreams and goals, marriage does not have to halt them. If anything, it could fuel them. Instead of being alone in this world fighting corporate america, line of credit loaners and others who may be against you, you now have a friend, a confidant, a business partner. I look at couples like the Mitchells (spotlighted in the older post section below) and see that sometimes two heads are better than one. Yes, we are totally competent on our own, but the skills of a mate may propel us to a higher level. Marriages these days aren't about just being a good housewife. If that's what you want, then you have my full support to be the best damn housewife you can be. Its a hard job and I commend you. But if you want to own a business, write a book, start a practice...let your spouse be your advisor, your business partner, your shoulder to lean on . Stop putting off marriage because you need to "get your business off the ground first" or need to "get where you need to be in your career." Thats something that only us black folks do. We feel the need to have all of our ducks in a row and then we look to marry. By then, your stubborn, stuck in your ways and will likely have a hard time fitting your mate into your already cookie cut life. Take a hint from some of my white friends. When you find your true love, marry. Build your lives, careers, and goals together. You may struggle for a bit, but it makes the pot at the end of the rainbow that much brighter. If you are considering marrying someone that doesn't support your dreams, that doesnt believe in your vision, and wants you to take the back burner in areas where you naturally shine then dont say you'll wait to marry him when your goals are accomplished, but never marry him because he is not the one. There is nothing hotter than a couple that sleeps together, prays together and makes money together. That's what being three sixty is all about.

So Keyshia, if Jeezy didnt support your dreams, then cool...drop him. But don't make it seem like you'd have to trade the mic for a maternity gown just because you tied the knot. It sends a bad message to young girls who want it all....careers and more traditional marriage roles. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.