Off My Chest/Lesson Learned: The Bend Factor

Everyone hates to do things that they don't want to do. That's a well known and accepted fact. What distinguishes the selfish from the rest of society is that those who can take the focus off of themselves at times, will do things that they really don't want to do for those that they love. Why? Because the person we love, loves doing whatever it is that he/she has asked us to do. So because we love them, we love it...at least every so often.

I'm not talking about yielding to your significant other's desires every waking moment of your life, but instead, on occasion, putting their needs before your own...besides, seeing a loving smile on their face from doing that which makes them happy, should make you happy. Call it bending, give or take, compromise...call it what you want, but it takes a lot of it to make a relationship a lasting one.

Don't be quick to overstate the bending that you do. You may think your as limber as they come, always bending over backwards to please your mate, but when it comes down to naming those things you do for his/her sole benefit ...your list comes up short. As a significant other you are a pillar of strength in your partner's life. He/she needs you. What they say is true. If you're not taking care of the needs of your mate, dont you worry because someone else or something else will be. Whether its another man or woman, his or her job, friends, or family, travelling, the strip club or alcohol, someone or something can quickly fill the void that you leave in your significant other's heart. Like B says, dont' ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable.

This is not to say that you should bend for your mate out of fear that he or she will cheat on you..because if thats all it takes then maybe you dont need that mate anyway. But this is to say that the energy you give out will be the energy you receive. This is so much bigger than tic for tac. If you give out selfishness, stubbornness, and coldness to the universe, thats exactly what you'll receive. You may not receive it from your mate--he or she is hopefully smart enough not to miss their own blessings by playing the 2 wrongs make a right game with you. But just because your mate is still cooking for you, cleaning for you and smiling with you...doesnt mean the universe is not ricocheting that treatment.

If you ever look out and you start to wonder why your friends have backstabbed you, why your parents have distanced themselves, why the job hasnt come through, why your account doesnt look like it should, why your body is in pain, why your mind is so stressed..take a step back and look at how you're treating the ones who love you most.

Bending for our mates is how we exercise our love. Get your relationship in shape..before its too late.